Does Kalashnikov Make A Stethoscope?

The name "Police Hospital" sounds like something out of a bad joke. "Hey, did you hear the one about the police hospital?". I'm sure there'd be a punchline involving taser-defibrillators and colonoscopy-cavity searches. Well, I work at said hospital. The Police Hospital.

The hospital is a quick tro-tro trip into town, an area of Accra called Osu. Osu is one of Accra's more "cosmopolitan" regions. A few higher-end stoes rub elbows with westernized eating establishments and embassies.

The Police Hospital was only opened to the public relatively recently. Prior to that, it had been the territory of policemen, their families, injured suspects and prisoners. These days though, all are welcome.

Seattlites are loathe to jaywalk. Why this is is beyond me. Maybe we're so starved for sunlight that we're willing to stare at a glowing red hand as a low budget S.A.D. treatment. I am no exception to this stereotype. It can be raining, windy and the entire homeless population of Pioneer Square is shuffling towards me; but by god I'll hold my ground until the sign says "walk". In Ghana, this approach does not work. In Accra you can occasionally find a crosswalk. About 1 in 8 of these has some form of signal. 95% of these controlled crosswalks do not function. The other 5% function, but in a malevolent fashion, designed to trick you into the oncoming truck, proudly emblazoned with "God Never Fails". To cross the street and live goes against many years of conditioning and common sense; just walk out when you're reasonably sure the oncoming car will stop in time for you, then stand in the middle of the road until the other lane obliges.

I love the fact that I'm jaywalking in front of the Police Hospital.

Most of my work in the hospital is in the Public Health Unit. The PHU functions as a rotating clinic, changing type of patient from day to day. Pre-natal, newborns, infants, the PHU does it all. The PHU runs very well, the presence of some newcomer oroni just initally caused confusion. Eventually it was made clear that I knew the basics and wanted to work. Some days I take blood pressures, others I administer vitamin supplements or weigh infants, whatever is needed of me.

At first I found it strange that many of the men in the hospital carried Kalashnikovs, but it's a police hospital, and as such has some patients who need to be guarded. After seeing a guard scratch his nose with the muzzle of his assault rifle I felt very secure. I hope that in the event of a prisoner escape or scuffle no one is stupid enough to open up with his nose scratcher. The 7.62mm round of Mr. Kalashnikov's baby has enough force to punch through the walls of the hospital and do bad things to whoever is getting the worst physical of their life, "I turned my head to cough and got a pneumothorax!". The AK is also far too easy to set to rock and roll and spray and pray at your target. This is all well and good if you're a child soldier who has been snorting a combination of cocaine and gunpowder, but 15 or so bullets rattling around a hospital ward is no one's idea of a good time.

The staff of the hospital is well trained and does an excellent job, all things considered. It's just some of the little differences, especially in terms of cleanliness. They dispose of needles in cardboard sharps containers, but don't wear gloves. I once requested a pair and found out that there were no gloves in the PHU to be found. Hand washing and sanitization are two things we in the West take for granted. I'm given strange looks when I wash my hands after administering a vitamin supplement to an infant. I simply don't want to serve as a disease vector in a room full of infants, and I sure as hell can't just pull on a new pair of gloves. There are few things more disconcerting than opening up an old-school sphygmomanometer and having a trio of cockroaches make their great escape from its innards. The hospital functions, and does a good job, I'm just glad I have evac insurance.